How I Found My Way Back from £250,000 in Gambling Debt to Reclaim My Life
The first time I stepped into a casino, it felt innocent enough—just a night out with friends, a little fun, nothing serious. Gambling had never crossed my mind before that evening, but then I won £60 on a blackjack table, and everything changed. That small win wasn’t just thrilling; it lit a fire inside me, a spark that would soon ignite into an uncontrollable inferno.
What started as harmless entertainment spiralled into a secret, all-consuming addiction. Each win felt euphoric, each loss like a wound I needed to heal with another bet. It wasn’t long before I was gambling daily—before breakfast, during work breaks, late into the night as my wife, Sujaan, slept beside me. The stakes grew higher, the risks greater, and with every bet, I sank deeper into a financial abyss.
At first, I thought I could control it. But soon, I was maxing out credit cards, overdrafts, and loans, desperately chasing the thrill and hoping for the elusive big win that would solve everything. My debts swelled to £250,000, but I couldn’t stop. I hid the truth behind a brave face, plastering over the cracks in my life with lies and false promises—to myself and to those I loved most.
Then came the day everything fell apart.
The Day of Reckoning
It was 16 June 2020—a date etched in my memory like a scar. Sujaan – my rock, my love, my wife, somehow accessed my bank account and saw the staggering stream of gambling transactions. Her face crumpled in disbelief and heartbreak. That moment shattered me more than the debt ever could. I had betrayed her, jeopardized our family’s future, and burned the trust we had built over years.
She gave me an ultimatum: seek help or lose everything. I promised to try, but even as I started therapy and joined recovery groups, the weight of my addiction and the debt I had accumulated felt insurmountable. The shame was crushing. I felt like a burden, a failure, a man who had lost his way completely.
A Dark Night on the M1
On 18 August 2020, I reached my breaking point. That night, alone in my car on the M1, I couldn’t see a way forward. Rain had just stopped, the road slick and empty, mirroring the emptiness inside me. As I sped into the third lane, I took off my seatbelt, released the steering wheel, and closed my eyes. I wanted the pain to end. I wanted silence.
But fate had other plans. A violent jolt shook the car, snapping me back to reality. My heart raced, and as I opened my eyes, I was overwhelmed by a single thought: I’m still here. The paramedics who arrived told me it was a miracle. One of them, a woman whose voice I’ll never forget, looked me in the eye and said, “Mr. Gahley, someone’s watching over you. If you don’t believe it now, you’d better start.”
Her words broke through my despair like light piercing a storm. That night marked the beginning of my reckoning, but my true turning point came just two days later.
The Words That Saved Me
On 20 August, my two-year-old son, Jeevan, said something that changed my life. His name means “life” in Punjabi, and that day, his innocent voice reminded me of the very thing I’d forgotten: my purpose. He didn’t understand my struggles, but his words brought me clarity. I saw in him the hope I had lost, the love I had been too blind to see, and the reason I needed to fight.
From that moment, I began the slow climb out of the abyss. Recovery wasn’t easy. Therapy, financial counselling, and rebuilding my relationships took time and effort. But step by step, I reclaimed my life.
Turning Pain into Purpose
Today, as the director of Red Card Gambling, I’m using my experiences to help others. Our charity focuses on educating people about gambling’s hidden dangers, offering support to those trapped in addiction, and advocating for social change. My mission is clear: to ensure no one feels as lost or as hopeless as I once did.
My story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It’s proof that even in our darkest moments, there is a way forward. Recovery isn’t easy, and it’s not instant, but it’s always possible. I hope my journey inspires others to speak out, seek help, and believe in the possibility of a better future.
If my story can save just one life, one family, one person from enduring the pain I did, then every word I’ve shared has been worth it. Remember, even when the night seems endless, dawn is always waiting to break through. Sometimes, hope is closer than we think—we just have to open our eyes to see it.
Contact Harj Gahley, Red Card Gambling Support
