How does an intelligent and successful woman fall victim to a catfisher for nine long years? This is the central question of Sweet Bobby, a documentary that takes viewers on an emotional rollercoaster, offering a timely reminder of the societal pressures on South Asian women.
In 2011, Kirat Assi was 33 and, like many, began to feel the pressure of ticking boxes: a successful career, yes—but also, she wanted marriage and children. When she met Bobby online, he seemed too good to be true: a cardiologist from a reputable family, caring, attentive, and loving, albeit still married. As her relationship with Bobby deepened, she began to lose herself in his web of control. It’s staggering to think that this relationship, which existed solely online, lasted for nine years.
Kirat Assi, now 44, is an attractive and successful marketer and radio presenter whose life was turned upside down by a decade of deceit. I caught up with her to learn more about her story, exploring how she transitioned from the podcast to TV, and the impact of her harrowing experience.
Was it daunting to move from making a podcast to putting yourself out there on TV?
“I thought making the podcast was difficult. However, having been a radio presenter, there was a certain amount of anonymity to it. Filming the documentary was challenging as it involved weeks of filming. It was also pretty cringey as I hate posing for anything!”
If you could speak to the person you were back then, what advice would you give?
“The advice I would give is question everything—and don’t be too kind when something feels off. When you have somebody on the other end of a phone who is having a heart attack, or something seriously wrong, it wouldn’t be human of me not to be worried and be checking that they’re OK. In my eyes, anybody who can walk away from that is not a decent person. Although I was constantly in those situations, I did try to walk away from them, but the guilt I felt from the manipulation stopped me. So, yeah, I do wish that sometimes I wasn’t so kind.”
Can you describe how it felt when you first realised that your cousin was the culprit?
“My initial reaction was that somebody had to be threatening her as well, so I asked, ‘Who’s making you say this?’ I didn’t think she could have done all of that to me. I was convinced that it must have been Bobby’s relative, Sanj, because of what happened on the weekend. But she insisted, saying, ‘I’m Bobby.’ I was slowly calling out the names of all the different people and, each time, she replied, ‘It was me.’ I went into meltdown mode and started screaming. I remember it so vividly. I phoned my best friend and I’m screaming, ‘Come now just please come now!’ I threw up and then collapsed in her arms as I realised the extent of the betrayal. I just remember thinking, ‘Why? Why for 10 years did you do this? Why didn’t you stop?’”
Can you describe the impact this has had on your personal life?
“It hasn’t affected just me but also the people around me. You will have seen my dad in the film, so you can see how tough it has been on him. He said that it would hurt him to know how much pain I’ve been through. It impacts people, and I think we should all be pushing for the internet to be regulated and for social media companies to provide data to the police more quickly.”
One of the things highlighted in your story is that the 10 years that were taken from you were formative ones—do you still have hope?
“Let’s be very clear here—I didn’t feel pressure to pursue marriage and children, those were simply things I wanted. Could I be a mum? I don’t know right now, and that is really tough. To do that to any woman is one of the cruellest things I can imagine. But yes, I still have hope!”
Sweet Bobby Review: Love, Lies, and Lessons Learned
Based on Kirat Assi’s bitter experience, Sweet Bobby is an explosive new Netflix documentary adapted from the Tortoise Media podcast investigation of the same name. The podcast was downloaded by millions across the globe, and the documentary takes this chilling tale even further, revealing the extent of a decade-long catfishing scheme that led to shocking betrayal.
In Sweet Bobby, viewers are taken inside this story of catfishing and betrayal. As Kirat explains, Bobby became the only thing in her life. She was living in a perpetual loop of checking on him, caring for him, and waiting for his next move, all while growing more isolated from her friends and family.
Despite the mind-boggling nature of this deception, the documentary also serves as a wider commentary on the pressures faced by many South Asian women. Kirat’s situation could happen to anyone. In fact, the Q&A session after the screening only confirmed her bravery. Even after all she’s been through, Kirat remains compassionate and empathetic, which is astonishing.
The film, which also pulls from Kirat’s original podcast, raises key questions about the role of internet regulation in preventing harm and how long it took for catfishing to be recognized as a serious issue by authorities. The pressures of conformity, isolation, and societal expectations are laid bare in Sweet Bobby, making it an essential watch for anyone navigating the complexities of love in the digital age.
Renu Janagal is an up-and-coming film critic who has earned admiration for her honest and refreshing take on compelling narratives, particularly within the Bollywood scene
